It's finally here. The Budapest trip. Just me and one of my best friends (let's call her M. to make things easy), about to go on an adventure we never thought would happen. Our friendship has been rocky, there's no denying it. There was a time we both thought that a holiday together was never going to happen. But no matter what's happened, no matter how often people told us our friendship wasn't worth it, we've always found a way to fix things. And look at us now, two losers living the dream. Well, for a week anyway. 

I decided it would be fun to share this trip with you guys so I'm going to make it a little series. First 'episode': PACKING! This was actually a lot easier than I thought it was going to be, probably because M. and I were on the phone while packing, reminding each other not to forget things like socks and pyjamas. So here's what I'm filling my suitcase with for the trip: 

There are a couple of things missing from the pictures. My black pants and white dress, for example,  but they're in the laundry and I still need to iron them. I'm also taking a pair of black flats to wear in the evenings. Things like my boarding pass, phone, charger and camera will be added to my backpack tomorrow morning. 

As for my outfit I'll be wearing tomorrow to the airport, I'm keeping it simple with my khaki jacket, blue jeans and all stars. 

That's all for now but I'll be back soon with the next 'episode' of The Budapest Trip! 

If you've been following this blog for a while, you may or may not have noticed that I'm not always feeling like a ray of sunshine. So I've 'borrowed' an idea from some other bloggers: make a list of all the good things that made you happy during the week, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. If it brings a smile to your face, a flutter to your heart, it's important.

It's impossible for everyone to feel happy or content all day, every day. Sometimes you just feel a little sad. A little down. A little under the weather, shall we say? Lately that's how I've been feeling. It was bad and then it got better and then it got bad again. Basically the typical ups and downs of life.

It can be quite difficult to get rid of the negative feelings and I've struggled quite a bit... But something that always helps is some me-time. I've made a post about this before, but I'm doing it again because I believe it's something that shouldn't be underestimated. The last couple of weeks have been so busy that I hardly had any time to myself. And I realized that that might be the very reason I was feeling like, well, absolute shit. So naturally I made some time to have a little pamper night and in case you've also been feeling like, you know, shit, here are some ideas for your own little pamper night. Maybe it will make you feel a little better too... 

Masks galore

Masks have a natural pampering feel about them. I got this hair and face mask for exactly a time like this. Usually I make my own but I found these for an amazing price so couldn't let them go. ( also, I've never used a sheet mask so I was curious and my hair is incredibly damaged from all the straightening )But in case you don't have hair or face masks lying around I've got you covered. 

One of my favorite face masks is cinnamon and honey. Honey acts as a moisturizer and is great for acne treatment as well as prevention. Cinnamon gets rid of bacteria, helps prevent pimples and dries out ones that are already there. I've recently learned to add nutmeg because apparently it reduces blemishes and reduces blackheads.  

As for a hair mask, I usually just massage in some coconut oil, let it sit for a while and then wash it out. I did try a banana mask once but that didn't go so well... In case you feel like trying it out, make sure you blend it so the banana is smooth and chunks of it doesn't get stuck in your hair... It's not pleasant, trust me. You could try mixing up some plain yogurt, honey and olive oil... Apparently that's pretty moisturizing too. Let me know if it's any good. 

A warm shower

A nice warm bath is also a great option but at the time I didn't really feel like it. It's summer here and I didn't feel like lying in warm water, sweating and being alone with my thoughts. So instead I took a shower and played one of my favorite spotify playlists. Showers are also better for washing hair in my opinion. 

Remember to take your time. Wash out your hair mask and wash your hair. Wash your face. Scrub your body. Maybe take some time to shave if you feel like it. Or say fuck it, because shaving is probably totally overrated anyway.

Nails 

You might not be a nail polish person, but I sure am. However, I can't remember the last time I painted my nails... Which just proves how little time I actually take for myself. But I've finally done it. I painted my chubby little toes in lilac and I painted my chubby little fingers in burgundy. Yeah, sure, they don't really match but guess what? I don't care. I love how the lilac looks on my little footies and I simply prefer a darker color on my hands. Deal with it. 

Tea, tea, tea

You can never go wrong with a good cup of tea to calm your anxious heart. There are plenty of different teas out there that are marketed as relaxing. For example, chamomile, lavender, passionflower,... But if you're like me, any tea has a calming effect. Some personal favorites of mine are rooibos, lemongrass, mango and red fruit teas.

Something that complements a cup of tea well is a book. I'd suggest reading something fun and easy, something a lot lighter than Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Not the best book if you want to calm down... But as I have made a promise to myself to read all the Harry Potter books again during the summer, I simply have to keep going. ( Not that I'm complaining, I am head over heels in love with the books anyway and can't seem to put them down )

Movie time 

A book is good but sometimes all you want to do it curl up on your couch with some popcorn and watch a good movie. Something easy. Something funny. Something to lighten that heavy heart of yours. I have some suggestions: The Heat, Magic Mike ( yes, both of them ), Rush hour ( Jackie Chan is fabulous ), The Revenge of the Bridesmaids ( don't judge me ), and last but not least... Fifty Shades of Grey. I mean, everyone has seen it. Let's not lie about it. Go ahead, just watch it. We're not judging here. 

And last but not least, make sure you get to bed at a kind of reasonable hour... Sleep is really important and too easily dismissed. Maybe read a little before you get into bed. Crack a window open for fresh air. Take off your pj's. Sleep naked. Cuddle up in your blankets. 

And maybe, just maybe, you'll wake up feeling a little lighter, a little happier. 

Last week I let you in on what I eat during a work day. This week I'm not away on holiday like I will be next week but I'm just home, doing nothing and wasting my time. So as promised, here is a look at what I eat on a day during a vacation week. 

Now that the summer has finally graced us with its presence and I'm on summer holiday, I have a bit more free time on my hands which means I eat quite a but more. So I thought it would be fun to share what I eat during a work week and an actual vacation week.

So without further chit chat, here's what I ate during an average work day.

Pre-breakfast snack: Rice waffle

Seeing that I have to be at work at 7, it's way to early for me to eat before then. So instead of having a full breakfast before I leave, I simply eat a rice waffle or two. This morning however, it just happened to be one... I was running a little late (surprise, surprise).

Breakfast: Oatmeal

My morning shift this week was from 7 to 9, but I always end up staying a little longer than necessary. (I work with kids, and they're all just so cute it's hard for me to leave them). Anyhow, once I do get home I'm pretty hungry and today I was craving something filling. And what's more filling than a big bowl of oatmeal.

I always make chocolate oats, I don't really know why but I do. So I just add some cacao powder while I'm cooking it along with some dark brown sugar. Then I top it off with some fruit, usually just bananas but it's strawberry season so added some of those too. Then a touch of chia and sunflower seeds and voila! Breakfast is served.

Lunch: Smoothie

Lunch tends to be something whipped up real quick and during a work week it usually won't be cooked food unless it's leftovers from the night before. And to be honest, I usually kind of skip it and just snack a lot after breakfast and have a nice big dinner. Yes, I know, that's not very good. But hey, I never claimed I was a saint.

Today, however, I had done a great workout and I simply craving a nice sweet smoothie. So I made my go to smoothie: bananas, frozen mixed berries, chia seeds, cacao powder and almond-coconut milk. Yum.

Snack: Couple of cookies

I don't thing you need an explanation with this one.

Dinner: Cold pasta salad

Dinner is usually whatever I find when I get home from my afternoon shift at work. Usually my mom would have made something but sometimes she's not home so I would have to make something myself. Today however she was home, and seeing that it was such a hot day, and still pretty warm in the evening, no one felt like having warm, cooked food. Hence the cold pasta salad. It's really simple: pasta, tomatoes, cucumber, corn, mozzarella cheese balls, lettuce, mayo, salt, pepper, basil. Happiness in a bowl.

Snack: Yogurt dessert

Everyone still snacks after dinner. It's human.

As I'm sure you can see, my eating habits are a bit all over the place. That's why next week I'll show you what I eat on a normal day, when I don't work, and I'm just home living the holiday life. 

See you then! 

Decisions. We've all been confronted with them. We've all had to make them. And we all certainly know that some of them are harder to make than others. The worst part is, the older you get the harder the decisions seem to get.

For example, I'm officially graduating high school tonight. After that, all I want to do is relax and enjoy my summer. But I can't because at the back of my mind I know I have some important decisions to make concerning my future. I even have a deadline in which to make them! You'd think that would help me make my decisions faster... But oh how wrong you are. It just gives me more anxiety than I already have.

So here's the thing. Once you graduate high school, the 'right' thing to do is start uni or college. It's just this thing that's printed into our brains by our teachers, parents, society. If you're not rich or famous, it's what's expected of you and if that's not what you want, well tough. The problem is, I'm one of those people who just really don't want to go back to school. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure one day I will find something that I will be really excited and passionate about and all I'll want to do is go to school again. But that's not really how I'm feeling right now which to me seems like a sign that I'll probably be making a mistake if I go study right away... I just feel like I need a break. I need time. I need to figure out who the fuck I am and what I want to do with this life I've been given. But by the time I realized this, I had already found a residence to live at and I had kind of signed into a college.

So as you can imagine, the moment I told people how I was actually feeling everyone was a little surprised. And sure enough, they all had a different opinion on the situation. Some people thought it was a good idea. They thought it would be good for me, give me some time to figure things out. Others thought it was a little foolish because: 'If you don't go study, what on earth are you going to do?' That's something I've been asked a lot in the last couple of weeks.

Well... This is what I want to do:

I want to work till the beginning of November, then I want to go to South Africa and live with my dad for a while. I want to go exploring. I want to work on writing my book and I want to see my little sister again. It's been five years since I've been back home and I think that's long enough. If I had to wait till I graduate college, it will have been 8 years before I ever get back home.

Now, I am very aware that this is not a very solid plan. And I am also aware that it's smarter to stay, to study, to build a life for myself. That's what I've been told anyway, over and over and over again. One of my friends even told me I couldn't possibly leave because how will I ever be able to 'nestle'. TO NESTLE! I'm eighteen years old. I have my whole life ahead of me. I DO NOT want to nestle! But apparently that's not the right state of mind to have around here...

So I have till the 15th of August to decide what I'm going to do: study or explore. That's the last day I can cancel my room in my residence, free of charge. If I don't make a decision by then... I guess the decision is kind of made for me.

I thought a pro and con list might make things easier... But so far it hasn't really been that useful. So if any of you have some tips or experiences you think might help, feel free to share... There's this quote from Grey's anatomy by Meredith Grey that I can't seem to get out of my head...

Source: tumblr.com

Everything, everything by Nicola Yoon has earned it's spot on my list of favorite books. I've thought long and hard on how I was going to do a book review on this book... I'm generally quite bad at book reviews because I never know what to say. 

Books always seem to leave me breathless. When I read the last page I usually feel like I'm in a kind of daze and for a while I'm not really sure what to do with myself because for the duration of the book I've been completely absorbed in the life of others. Everything, everything was no exception. I have nothing to say except: go read it. Let the feelings wash over you and instigate the feeling to change your life. 

If I learnt anything from this book it's to take risks because life is just too damn wonderful not to. Life is too short to wait till weekends to go out for drinks with your friends or wait till summer to buy that dress. You only have your looks for so long so flirt with that guy you like and let his friend buy you a drink. You're too young to waste your time stressing about an exam, a fight with your friend, a party you can't seem to find a dress for. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: Everything, everything is a book that will be a part of me forever, just like All the Bright Places. It will forever be a reminder that I might feel like I have my whole life ahead of me, but it can be taken away in a minute so I better make every day count. 

Spoiler alert: You will fall hopelessly in love with Oliver Bright.