Spring has arrived! 

It's raining here right now, but on my way home the sun was shining and I was more than content. 

Spring means April and April means a new calendar. 

For April I have a few 'major' goals I want to achieve:

- ONE -
I want to workout. Like a lot more than I have been.
Don't get me wrong, I've been doing well. I don't think I've ever kept it up as long as this.
But I want more of it.
I always feel so damn amazing afterwards and I need more of that feeling.

- TWO -
I want to really work for school.
I need to make it a priority.
I haven't been going out for a while, which in my head meant I was paying more attention to all the shit I have to actually get done but that's proven to not be the case.
So not only do I want to go study in the library more, I also want to go out and party hard one more time before my exams start.

- THREE -
I need to start keeping track of my spending.
I need to start being (even) more responsible with my money.
It doesn't grow on trees.
I'm lucky to have what I have.
It's not a lot, but it's something and I need to take care of what I spend it on.
So I want to start a log of my spending so next month I can see where I need to cut back.

Let's hope this month is filled with more sunshine and even more positive vibes. 

You still have a lot of time to make yourself who you want to be.

This is a list.

A list of things to do.

A list of things to do when you feel like doing nothing.

A list of things to do when you're in bed and it's already 1 pm and you just don't have the emotional strength to get out of bed.

A list of things to do when you feel so unproductive it makes you want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"Be kind? Really. Not just with others, but with yourself as well. Cherish the hearts of others, but also nurture your own. Take care of those around you, but also take the time to take care of yourself." 

This week, like the ones before, has been a bit of a damn rollercoaster. 

I wish I could explain exactly why, but for now lets just say it's a lot of things that get piled up and then all of a sudden there is just this huge weight of emotions and thoughts that you don't know what to do with. 

I'm determined to try and get all the feels under control.
Well, as under control as they can get.

I just need to make a bit of peace in the chaos that is currently my brain. 

So let's talk about the little things that I did this week that made me feel good.

Made me feel proud.
Made me feel the bit of calm during the storm. 

- Monday -

Had the most amazing lunch with my sister in the cutest little café.
It feels good to talk about things when you feel overwhelmed.
I don't really do that though, but on rare occasions I will.
This was one of those occasions.

- Tuesday -

I finally plucked up the courage and called to make an appointment to have some driving lessons.
I've been avoiding it because I absolutely hate making phone calls.
But I did it.
And I was proud.

Furthermore, I had dinner with two of my good friends from back in high school.
It was a lovely evening, and I laughed a lot.
Laughter really is the best medicine.

- Wednesday -

I was really in the mood to swim and so I asked my mom if she didn't fancy going for a swim that evening. We don't see each other very often now that I live in my dorm, so this was a perfect opportunity to see her again.

It was just as satisfying as I had hoped it would be.

There's something about tiring out your body with movement that brings me a kind of peace I can't explain.

- Thursday -

One of my besties came over with wine and a board game. 

It was supposed to be an innocent evening. 

It turned into a drunken night that included ordering pizza at one in the morning and playing a drinking game version of the board game while laughing our heads off. 

Needless to say, this was a night to remember.

- Friday -

I took the time to write.
I feel like that's the one thing that's been very consistent in my life:

I write when I feel things. 

I guess it's my way of talking to someone about everything that's going on in my little brain.

It gives me the freedom to be brutally honest with myself.
No judgement but my own.
Freedom to explain as much or as little as I want. 

It's one of my purest pleasures. 

- Saturday - 

I did absolutely nothing.
It had snowed. Everything was white outside.
I made tea.
Read more in one go than I have in a while.
It feels really good to every now and then just have a day where you have nothing to do.
No obligations.
No to do list.
No one to worry about.
It's just you.

- Sunday -
But after very lazy days come very productive days.
And those can do wonders just as much as lazy days can.
I worked out.
I cleaned.
I packed.
I did laundry and some groceries.
I finished my book.
Did I study at all? No.
Am I going to let that bother me? Not even in the slightest.
I need to get the idea out of my head that productive days mean working for school.
Because that just isn't the case.

So there you have it.
A little glimpse into my week.
I feel a little better... Not like I'm ready to take on the world again just yet...
But it makes me feel like I can at least take on tomorrow.
And for now, that's enough.